This Day

I was picking up the house today and finally got around to dusting. As I was wiping down some pictures I felt a huge sadness. We have a collage on our wall that I have filled over the years with family photos -- just random snippets of life caught in black and white. I pass by those pictures every day and I don't really look at them anymore...they are just part of the usual dust-ables sitting in our house. Today was different...I studied the photos hard. Each picture was a snapshot of more carefree times: A trip to the lake, Sophia as a newborn, the boys kissing Julia, the boys laughing and hugging. My heart ached to be back in those times when we were oblivious to the chaos of cancer. I realized I didn't know how happy I was then. I wasn't thankful enough during those peaceful, happier days. Oh, to be back there again!

I continued to pick up the house, my attitude becoming darker by the minute. An old song I learned as a little girl in Sunday School started echoing in my head....

This is the day the Lord has made;
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
(adapted from Psalm 118)

I started thinking back on all those "better" times and felt guilty about not being as glad or thankful in them as I should have been. Each day always presents its own problems, frustrations, or worries, preventing me from just being happy and grateful in the present moment.

I then realized that today was no exception. I'm being consumed by my worries and problems today and not rejoicing and being glad. This is the day the Lord has made...it's mine and I have much to be thankful for. I need to learn from the old pictures that there is joy in each day we are given. That includes this one. I don't dare miss it. I dare not regret taking for granted the comforts and provisions of this day that God made especially for me and my family.

In the spirit of rejoicing, I want to be thankful for a few things...

• Our faith. Nothing else can sustain us.
• Meals provided by friends and family. We are grateful.
• Phone calls, emails, and blog comments. We are encouraged.
• The horses being well cared for by Jesse and Van. We are relieved.
• Marc's nausea going away. An answer to prayer.
• Short term disability. One less worry.
• Marc's employer. They care and have been overwhelmingly supportive.
• Our kids. They give us purpose and make us smile every day.
• Energy. I have been able to keep up with Marc and my family's needs.
• Spring Break. We are able to slow down, sleep in, and catch our breath from the last month.
• Great health care coverage. Humbling to know that all of his care and prescriptions are covered.
• Marc's doctors. They are working hard to make him better.
• Our friends and family in the medical field. It's a comfort to have clarification, translation, and alternative interpretation on the information we have received from the doctors.

The list could go on and on. That's the point. To be glad in today takes a grateful heart. We must give thanks for all the goodness we receive, especially in our times of trouble. I would encourage you to see past your troubles today and focus on the day the Lord has made for you and what you can do to rejoice and be glad in it. Don't miss it!

After all that, you are probably wondering how Marc is doing. He is hanging in there. He was able to go to church last night and not get too fatigued. He was craving ribs for dinner, so afterwards we went out for barbecue with Dave and Karen and all the kids. His nausea is obviously gone because he ate his entire meal! Today he is experiencing some soreness in his abdomen, but nothing like it has been previously. I would just ask that you would pray with me that the pain would go away again. We were so excited for yesterday -- his pain was gone, there was no nausea, and his energy was up. We would love more of those days!

Thank you for visiting me at this place today. I can't tell you what it means that friends and family check this site regularly to see how we are doing and to pray for us. God is gracious each and every day. I anticipate that this week there won't be much to report as Marc doesn't have appointments or treatments scheduled. I'm hoping to use this place during that time to share how God is using you all to bless us. We have some really neat stories that encourage us and will hopefully encourage you.

With love and gratitude...