Marc Goes Up The Hill To Fetch A Second Opinion...

Marc was accepted by two doctors up at OHSU yesterday. His first appointment will be on August 12th and the following on August 14th. Until then we just get to enjoy not being in a doctor's office or a treatment center! What a change from the last six months! We are planning on enjoying this time together and appreciating the break.

We would be grateful if you would continue to pray for Marc. We are hoping that the tumor stays quiet in the next couple of weeks and doesn't give him any pain or complications. Also, that the remaining side effects from the last chemo regimen would go away. We are hoping that this time off will give him the chance to heal from chemotherapy and gain strength for whatever treatments or surgeries are on the horizon.

We remain so grateful for all of you. Thank you for shouldering our troubles with us. We feel so blessed to have such an amazing support network.

With love and gratitude...

A huddle and a break...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

We met with Marc's doctor this morning and went over his labs and CT scan results. We were fortunate to have our dear friend, Elo, with us to help with technical questions (see: http://griffithzoo.blogspot.com/2009/03/gift-of-knowledge.html). The four of us huddled for an hour, discussing the following results:

• His tumor marker is increasing, showing that the cancer is active.
• His CT scan did show a small progression. It is a bit larger and thicker than his CT scan in June.
• While the tumor is growing, it is not fast growing at this point. This will allow for Marc to rest before he resumes treatment.
• The chemotherapy treatment that he was taking previously is no longer effective.

So, what to do? For the next three to five weeks, Marc will get a break from treatment to allow his body to recover from the last nine rounds. From there, we are not sure. We are considering several options and will be getting more opinions. There is a second line of chemotherapy that is an option, there is a clinical trial that is a possibility, we will meet with a surgeon, and possibly make a trip to Seattle to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. Each option has potential, but also risks. We will need a lot of wisdom in the next few weeks to determine what is the best course of treatment. Ultimately, this is Marc's decision.

As always, we would appreciate your prayers. We are both committed to figuring this thing out and leaving no stone unturned; however, with that comes a lot of appointments, reading, thinking, and discussing. I anticipate this could be mentally and physically gruelling for our family. Also, it will mean more logistics with the kids and farm. We would ask that you help us pray for direction, the stamina needed to get through this next stage, and a support system that won't be overly burdened.

Lastly, I want to thank Elo again for spending her morning with us. What a blessing to have a friend that is a doctor come to our appointment with us! She had great questions, gave us confidence, and encouraged us on a very difficult day. And, a big thanks to Melanie for watching Elo's kids, so that she could get away with us. It is truly taking a huge community of family and friends to get us through this. We remain humbled and amazed by God's great provision in our lives during this time.

With love and gratitude...

Frustrating Update

No treatment today. Marc's tumor marker went from 85 to 196. We don't know what his blood draw will show from today, but we are assuming that they will reflect another increase. Based on that information they have deemed his current chemotherapy regimen ineffective. Tomorrow he will go in for another CT scan. They will determine if the tumor has grown or if the cancer has spread. We are scheduled to meet with the doctor on Monday to discuss what he thinks should happen next. We will also be seeking a second opinion and try to make a wise decision going forward.

We were told today that this does happen. The tumor, like everything else in the body, can grow resistant to certain medications and treatments. Basically his cancer has figured out how to beat this system. We are on to the next, but we were warned that after first line treatment, the success of the treatments becomes less likely. We need a miracle.

We are both taking this news hard. Marc is struggling with being back at the beginning and having made no progress. Nine miserable treatments without remission. I have no better word than brutal. For me....well...I am devastated. Holding it together today around the kids was an emotional juggling act. We are both having to dig really deep right now.

We would appreciate your prayers in the next few days while we try to figure this out. We would love it if the lab results were a fluke and today's blood draw shows a miraculous decrease. Anyhow, prayers and support right now would be most appreciated. I know many of you have a lot of questions and are wanting more detail; however, we aren't prepared right now to talk on the phone or in person. It's just too hard. I will try to update here as I learn more and will do my best to answer everyone's questions and hear suggestions. If you have either, please email us or post here.

With much love and gratitude...

Chemo Day

We are heading off to chemo treatment #10. We will finally get those elusive tumor marker numbers. Please pray that the results are encouraging (if not amazing) and that Marc tolerates his treatment well this week. We keep praying that, and yet every cycle they seem more difficult in different ways. Anyhow, here we go.....We would be grateful to have your prayers with us today!

With love and gratitude....

Another Year as Mrs. Griffith

I rarely take off my wedding ring. Many of you would probably clutch your pearls if you could see how over the years my ring has taken abuse. From bread making, painting, and cleaning stalls, to weeding the garden and bathing my children...it stays on. I marveled when in February, Marc was in the hospital for his biopsy, I removed my wedding ring to slip his on beneath it (he couldn't wear his for his procedure and I didn't feel right about just putting it in my purse or pocket). I couldn't believe how much that ring has become a part of me. The ring, after all these years, has left a permanent, indelible mark on my finger. The skin beneath the ring is smooth, thin, and pale. In contrast, the rest of my finger --like my hands in general -- are calloused and thick from years of being unkind to them. It has made an unbelievable indentation in my finger.

I have worn this simple ring for twelve years now. For our culture, twelve years seems like a miracle, but for me it seems to have flown by. I remember how shiny and glittering the little band was on our wedding day. It seemed heavy, though, and the weight of the gold did not feel natural. A lot like our first year or so of marriage -- getting used to sharing space, personal items, a new name, and each other's habits. Eventually, though, wearing the ring and sharing my life became natural. Yes, this ring has seen much in twelve short years. I've worn it through pregnancies, house construction, a house fire, adventures with livestock, holidays and work days. Now it accompanies me in days of illness and uncertainty. It's not shiny and new any longer, the band is nicked and scratched, and the stones aren't clean from working outside, so they certainly don't glitter. But, I like it better this way. I can look at it and know all it has been through and all our marriage has survived. We have been through a lot together.

Today I want to thank my sweet husband for another year of marriage. My friend asked me the other day if knowing what grief I know now would I have still chosen to marry Marc. I wouldn't have changed a thing. I would not have traded all the time I have been able to enjoy with him. He is an upstanding man, a brilliant thinker, a loving daddy, a hard worker, and most of all a loving husband. I couldn't have made a better choice. He is my best friend and I am grateful and humbled that I have been able to mature alongside this wonderful man. He has put up with a lot being married to me. Thankfully, he is a good leader and is very patient.

I am hopeful that we will have many more anniversaries and more adventures together. If my prayers are answered, I anticipate my ring will get more battered and worn. I also anticipate that my finger will always carry the remarkable indentation from my band. But, that's just fine with me. They will just be permanent reminders of more wonderful adventures and treasured years together. I can't think of anything more that I could hope for!

Update...Or Not So Much

Have you been praying? Sigh. I have. I have been anxious since last night about what we would learn today from Marc's labs. Well, we will all have to wait a bit longer. The labs weren't back yet this afternoon. Someone is supposed to call when they come in, but we aren't sure if that will be today, tomorrow...next week? So, we get to stay on our knees a bit longer. Will you continue to join us? If you have some extra moments, please pray for Marc and the side effects. Right on schedule the fatigue and nausea have settled in. The next 24 hours can be brutal and I am just praying that it won't be as bad as last time.

Thank you all for the love you show us on a daily basis. We are grateful beyond words for all of you.

With love and gratitude...

Nine

Today Marc sat in the chair for the ninth time and took his chemo treatment. The treatments get ever harder for him and it was a struggle this week to submit, once again, to this process. He remains my hero -- plugging along without voluntary complaint. He is amazing.

As they do every week, they took a blood draw and will have his tumor marker results on Thursday. My prayer this week is that the new medication will drive the marker down. The past three results have been about the same, hovering at 85.

I am going to ask a favor of all of you that frequent this place. Would you pray for Marc and this test? Would you pray that the tumor starts responding again to the chemotherapy and that we can, once again, see a result on Thursday that would be an encouragement to us all? And, if you could pray that this treatment cycle would not be as physically brutal as the last round, we would be grateful. He has three more treatments to endure before his body gets a break. He needs our encouragement and support more than ever. But, most of all, he needs some extra prayers this week.

I will meet you all back here in this place on Thursday with the results and an update.

With love and gratitude.

A Fine Day

I sat and watched Julia ride this evening. I was getting a good laugh out of watching her try to navigate Marc's old mare through the obstacle course of trees and brush in our pasture. When Truffles wasn't trying to rub her off, she was on the verge of dislocating Julia's shoulder as she jerked her head (and subsequently the reins) to the ground as she snagged green grass. No real complaints from her rider, though -- it was mostly smiles mixed only with the occasional growl of frustration when her mount wouldn't cooperate. I was pleased with Julia's determination. I always marvel when fifty pounds of little girl that can't even reach the stirrups, manages to convince a half ton animal to submit.

Today marked another day in a week of calm, fun, and relaxing days. Just like Julia is finding ways to make her monster horse cooperate, we are finding ways to find joy in the midst of illness and uncertainty. Sitting there in the grass, watching my girl share something I love, was delightful. While she plugged along I reflected on a wonderful day and gave thanks with all that was in me.

The day was nothing dramatic, just pleasant: Enjoying coffee with Marc this morning without the interruption of the kids, picking berries and vegetables in the morning with the kids, sipping iced tea on the front porch with a dear friend, an afternoon nap, a simple dinner, and horseback rides for the kids this evening. Tidbits of normal summer life that seem so much sweeter in this season of life.

I am grateful for this calm in our proverbial storm. We appreciate so much all the prayers, support, and concern, that you have all given us. It's comforting to know that I can put out prayer requests and worries in this place and know that so many of you are reading them and standing firm with us. Today, though, I'm happy to report that we are doing fine. We hope you will join us in giving thanks for this fine day.

With love and gratitude....