Mama said there would be weeks like this....

I have had several calls and emails asking how we are doing. I figured it was time for a quick update. In a word...better; however, it has been a doozy of a week. Thank you all for your kind words and prayers this week. We needed it!

The side effects of Marc's new chemotherapy treatment didn't catch up with him until late Sunday. Then they hit him like a ton of bricks. We thought given how well he felt on Friday and Saturday that this new regimen was going to be easier than the other two cycles he had been on. Wrong. He had nausea, headache, muscle and joint aches, and cramping. To remedy the pain he took some prescribed pain meds. In turn, the pain meds ground his digestive system to a halt. As a result, he thought he was experiencing an intestinal blockage which took him to the emergency room on Wednesday afternoon. By Wednesday night we were relieved to find out that he didn't have a blockage. His CT scan and xrays showed nothing new. We actually asked people to pray for poop. Never thought that would happen.

We got piled on a bit this week. Looking back it is almost amusing. It will probably be more funny when I'm not so tired. Monday I took the kids into the dentist for routine cleanings. The dentist discovered Julia had a damaged baby tooth -- the result of a permanent tooth crowding it too much when it came in. I asked the doctor if the tooth had to be pulled. Yes, it had to be pulled. Not only that, but another tooth needed to be pulled on the other side so the same thing wouldn't happen again. The dentist was kind enough to do the job on the spot. I then loaded my drooling, gauze packed daughter into the car and we headed to the pediatrician. Sophia's eardrum had ruptured that morning and was draining goo. I had stuffed a cotton ball in it, but that clearly wasn't going to be a tolerable fix. I arrived at the doctor's office with all four kids. We were quite the sight. One kid with pus running from her ear, another drooling and experimenting with her numb lips, and then there were boys who couldn't stop talking to save their lives. My fun meter was pegged. I was done.

The cherry on top of the week has been our dog's tangle with a skunk. To say this week stinks would be no understatement! The good news is that it's over. Marc is feeling better. Sophia feels so much better now that her sinus and ear infection are under control. Julia was really tough and recovered nicely from her tooth extractions. The dog still stinks, but that's what they make dog houses for. He has been banished from my house...maybe permanently. It's taken all week, but I think we are finally doing better. Thank goodness!

Thanks for praying for us this week. It's been a tough one. I'm grateful it's over. I'm looking forward to getting some rest and getting my sanity back this weekend! It may take me some time to laugh about all of this, but I'll get there....

With love and gratitude...

Enough!

We received a sobering call today from Alan and Jenny -- some dear friends of ours. Alan and Marc have been known each other since Marc's days at Infocus. His wife, Jenny, has become a beloved friend of mine. We have had the pleasure of hanging out at work retreats and parties, sharing stories about our kids and encouraging each other when times are tough.

This past year has been a challenge for them. Their oldest son endured major surgery on his vertebrae and legs in Seattle this summer. The surgery and recovery were complicated, but the results were encouraging. Despite their own trials they remained supportive to us. I could always count on Jenny for an encouraging phone call, a Bible verse texted to my phone, or a hope-filled email. It was always humbling to us to know that they were thinking of us and praying for us in the midst of their own tough challenges.

Jenny called me this morning to share that she has Triple-negative breast cancer -- an aggressive form of breast cancer that often metastasizes to other tissues. In her case, her lymph nodes have tested positive. She begins her treatment the first week in March. Like Marc, her tumors must shrink before they can operate and remove the cancer. Sound familiar? She and Marc will both be on the same treatment regimen. Our only laughter today came from the idea of both of them going bald together.

Marc and I were both undone by this news. What is going on?!? Enough!!! Our hearts break with theirs. We know all too well the emotions that they are experiencing right now. It's hard enough to go through them ourselves, but to now watch another family go through it is overwhelming. It doesn't seem fair. We don't understand. Yet, we acknowledge that God hasn't changed. He is still our loving Father. If we watch closely, good will come of all of it. We are all being refined. I just keep wondering if there will be anything left when He is finished with us, though. We really don't feel like we are being refined right now. It feels more like a cruel beating that will pummel us to nothing. We know that isn't true, but have mercy...it is painful!

Our requests today aren't for ourselves. Please pray for this dear family. Jenny and Alan have three young children. Speaking from experience, nothing about this will be easy. Please pray that Jenny will tolerate the treatment well and that she can have her surgery. Give her courage and strength to fight. Pray that she can beat this monster! Pray for Alan. He has the tough role of caretaker and spouse. He also has three children to take care of, one of which is special needs. He is going to need physical and emotional stamina. To put it simply....we all need the healing hand of God to touch us. We need miracles.

Thank you all. We are sad today. We are grateful for your support and prayers.

With love and gratitude....

New Chemo Day

Today went off without a hitch. Marc handled the new treatment well -- no allergic reactions or horrible side effects. So far it beats the other regimens. With these drugs he doesn't have to wear a pump for three days. Infusion takes longer in the clinic (6 hours), but when it's finished he walks out unfettered for three weeks. That's a huge deal in our world!

Now we just have to wait and see if it works. The waiting is the worst. We are praying fervently that we have this thing figured out and are on the right track with this new chemo. We have lots of hope, but no guarantees.

We probably won't be seeing much of you all socially in the weeks to come. Public places are off limits. This therapy will be really hard on Marc's immune system and he can't risk too much exposure to germs. That being said...he lives with four little kids. He will be going to work, but not much else. Hopefully we can keep his exposure to the minimum. We just pray he stays strong during these treatment cycles.

Thank you all for your kind comments and words of encouragement. This has been a brutal week. We are glad it's over and we are working on the new plan. We just hope and pray it works and works mightily!

Shred of Hope

We met with Marc's oncologist this morning at OHSU. We were encouraged on many fronts. First, he had had a long conversation with the surgeon in Washington DC. They had discussed the many obstacles to Marc's surgery and came to an agreement for treatment. It felt good knowing that everyone is on the same page and that they agree! We were concerned that they were going to be at odds as to how to proceed and we would have no clear direction going forward.

Basically they have agreed that Marc's cancer is really odd. We have known that for a long time. They were both encouraged that the cancer has not spread to other organs or the lymph system. It is still limited to the peritoneal cavity. That being said, it is still widespread and leaves the surgeon little room to move around. We really need to kill some of this stuff off -- it needs to shrink! Since his cancer is so outside the box, we are in uncharted territory. As a result, Dr. Lopez really wants to be aggressive and throw everything at it. His hope is that we can take it down significantly enough to make him a candidate for surgery.

So, back to chemo clinic we go. He starts the new regimen on Friday morning. They will be treating him with Taxol and Carboplatin. These are drugs typically used for lung, ovarian, breast cancer, etc. Much different than those used for gastrointestinal cancer -- which has been the treatment of choice so far. The side effects will be familiar to Marc -- fatigue, nausea, neuropathy. He's not thrilled, but remains my hero for jumping in that chair again. This time he will lose his hair for certain. Be looking for the new hair-do shortly. I think he wants to shave it this weekend. For those of you wanting gift ideas, think hats! Some cool head gear would make him smile.

As you can imagine this week has been devastating for both of us. We found out that if surgery had been approved he would have gone in tomorrow. We feel so undone by the loss of that opportunity. Both of us are having a hard time even pondering what will happen if this treatment does not work. We just can't go there.

We ask that you continue to pray for Marc's healing. We don't have any assurances that we are on the right track with this new treatment. It's a hunch and we are going for it. We do have hope, though. And right now that says a lot. We need a miracle. I pray every single day for just that.

We will keep you updated in the days to come. We anticipate a subdued weekend. Thank you all for your outpouring of love and support this week. We are grateful for all of you.

With love and gratitude...

Day 365. A No Go

Marc's operation is a no go. The surgeon spent a great deal of time going through our CT scan and determined that his disease is so widespread as to be considered inoperable. He didn't believe that doing the surgery would benefit Marc at all. More than likely it would do more harm.

We are beyond disappointed. We came here with one objective in mind and that is not going to happen. We are trying to wrap our minds around all of this. We are so sad, but remain confident that this doctor knows what he is doing and that God has all of this figured out.

All that being said, there is a glimmer of hope. As we chatted with the doctor about all of the tests that had been run, I mentioned a picture that the diagnosing surgeon took of his appendix during his laparoscopy last March. The doctor had noted that it looked healthy. One of the beliefs regarding Marc's type of cancer is that this type of tumor starts in the appendix. It should have looked diseased. Since it didn't, it led him to believe that it is a true adenocarcinoma with an unknown primary. In that case it may be a germ cell cancer that may respond to a different line of chemotherapy. He was quite excited about this one small piece of information.

So, you guessed it. Back to chemo. We are going to call tomorrow and schedule an appointment with Dr. Lopez and go over all of this with him. The hope is that we can start treatment next week. Dr. Sugarbaker said we will know within two to three treatments if we are making progress. IF the tumor responds to the treatment and IF it shrinks, he said he would gladly do Marc's surgery.

We are in a holding pattern again. We are devastated to a large extent that we didn't get the go ahead we were so desperate for today. But, we have a new direction -- one we would not have had without making the trip here. If it works it will ultimately be the best for Marc.

We would be grateful for your continued prayers and support. It's been exactly a year today since Marc first learned of his cancer. Tomorrow is day one of a new year for us. We pray that it will yield the life saving solution that we so desperately need.

With love and gratitude....

Déjà vu

Well, we are going to try to get out of town again tomorrow. We are on the same scheduled flights to DC. We are hoping and praying to arrive safely without a hitch.

This time we have planned to be there for the duration. I spoke with the coordinator yesterday and she told us they would work hard to make the surgery happen quickly -- no guarantees, but they know our wishes and will try to accommodate us. We are hoping that this will happen. However, with that mindset came lots of planning, errands, and scrambling this week. I think it was good in so many ways that we didn't go last week. I learned this week how ill prepared I really was!

Tonight we are stocked, organized, packed, and ready to go. We would just ask that you all pray for our family's safety in the days and weeks to come.

Other specifics to pray about:

• Our appointment with Dr. Sugarbaker would go well.
• That our surgery would be scheduled immediately
• That the surgery is a HUGE success!
• Please pray for travel safety
• Pray for my folks. They have the job of caring for our kids. I know they will do great, but speaking from experience...it's a tiring job. At least it won't be thankless! I can't thank them enough for taking over the daily aspects of our home and life.
• Last and most important. Pray for our kids. Pray for their health and safety while we are gone. Pray for their hearts. Being away from us is going to be hard on their emotions. While they are going to miss us, we have been touched by their support and enthusiasm for this operation. They see it as an opportunity for Dad to get better. We leave with their blessing.

Thank you for sharing in this journey with us. Your prayers, notes, calls, acts of service, and kind words, have been so uplifting in the last year. We really don't know how we would have done it without all of you. We consider every single one of you a huge gift from God. Many of the things you have done or said have been answers to specific prayers. Thank you.

On Monday we turn a new page in this story. We hope this new direction is a good one. While we are hopeful that we are heading towards a cure, we acknowledge that things don't always go as we hope. While we have tremendous hope, we also harbor all of the worries and fears that have accompanied on this bumpy road. We continue to acknowledge that God is sovereign and He has it all figured out. S0, we will leave the fear at His feet and watch how He will work in marvelous ways.

With love and gratitude...

Persisting

We tossed and turned a lot last night. At 5:00 a.m. we were able to call and talk to the coordinator at the doctor's office. Their schedule has been upset by all of the weather, too. Basically she told us to get there when we can and they would fit us in. We were really encouraged by their sympathy and flexibility.

After talking with the coordinator I called the airlines. After wrangling a bit with times we were able to secure flights for next Sunday. Our appointment with the surgeon is on Monday. The good news is that there may be a possibility they can work in the surgery the same week. That would be amazing! Ironically if we see the doctor next Monday (the 15th), it will have been exactly a year since Marc's very first appointment diagnosing his cancer. 365 days exactly. Talk about a year to remember!

Another twist to ponder. They have the hospital ward that Marc will be in under quarantine this week for Norovirus. Our coordinator was relieved we weren't coming in today. With the nature of the operation, Norovirus is something that is a huge risk better not taken. I was very humbled by this information. For all of our persistence in trying to get to DC yesterday, it may be that it is best that we aren't there for Marc's sake. I have to believe that God is protecting my hubby. I just need to remember that the next time things don't go as planned. I think I'm a slow learner in this area!

That's the news from our corner. I doubt there will be more updates until next week. Thanks for praying!

With love and gratitude....

Grounded

We had a nice dry run this morning. Got to the airport, parked, made it through security having only my toothpaste confiscated, and had a cup of coffee. Then our flight was cancelled. Bummer. Bummer to Nth degree.

We are grounded until at least Wednesday. That's the soonest they have anything going into Reagan Natl. The other hitch is that now we need a new appointment with the doctor. It was so hard to get this first appointment scheduled. This trip has been really difficult to plan. Soooo.....we are up in the air now as to what the plan might look like. We must wait until tomorrow to reach the doctor's office and start over again. Here are some concerns....

• We can get an appointment rescheduled ASAP
• That we can get a flight out in order to make it to the new appointment
• That our faith and patience holds out. We are really frustrated and disappointed today.

My friend said it beautifully this morning. " [Faith] is not easy. Those who say that to be a believer is easy, know nothing." It's hard having faith today when we are so disappointed. How will this all work out? We just don't know. But, today we (again) choose to trust and have faith that God has it all worked out. Is it easy? Not so much. I find it easier today to be angry and sad. For moments I just wanted to give up. Nothing about this last year has been easy. This trip has been more than a possible solution to Marc's cancer. It has represented hope. Today it feels like it slipped between our fingers. Then I remember we have hope for tomorrow. We will get up and try again. Ever onward.

Thanks for praying. Thanks for walking with us. We'll let you all know what we work out when it happens.

With love and gratitude....

Might Just Get There....

Thank you so much for your prayers concerning the weather. We have confirmed our flight and it hasn't been canceled (as of 10:00 tonight). We are praying for smooth travels tomorrow. We have had a lot of time to think about the snow storm and our worries surrounding our departure. We have had some interesting realizations that we will share later -- no time tonight...haven't packed yet!

Anyhow, we fly out tomorrow and arrive late in the evening. Marc's appointment is on Monday at 1:00. Please continue to pray that we will get good information and ask appropriate questions. We have huge hopes that this doctor will be able to remove the tumor completely. We feel so blessed by this opportunity!

So....here we go! See you when we get back. Thanks, again, for all the prayers and support. You are all amazing.

With love and gratitude...

Unknown Variable: Winter Storm

We have counted down the days until this weekend. Both of us have anxiously been looking forward to meeting the surgeon and getting this process going. We have organized everything -- childcare, travel arrangements...everything. Well, almost everything. Wouldn't you know that D.C. is expecting a huge snowstorm tonight and tomorrow. Who woulda thunk it?!? We are supposed to leave Sunday afternoon. This will likely be the first clear day in the city, according the weather sites. We are chuckling a little bit -- have to laugh or we might cry! Please pray that we are able to fly on Sunday and have our appointment on Monday. Obviously, the weather is something we couldn't plan for, nor can we control it. It's just going to take some old fashioned prayer and a faith that God knows what He is doing to trust that this will somehow all work out. So, if you have a moment to pray for the weather....Would you mind?