Faithful Servant

His lord said to him,"Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler of many things.  Enter in to joy of your lord."

Matthew 25:21

Marc Andrew Griffith

May 17, 1966 - September 30, 2010

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Finally there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge will give me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who who have loved His appearing.

2 Timothy 4: 6-8

Sweet Moments

The last two days have been the most difficult.  Around 4:00 yesterday Marc became unresponsive.  We had a few sweet moments just before that with our pastor, Alan.  We finished praying and exchanged a few brief words.  Since then he has been silent, struggling to take his next breath, and anxious.  This has been a difficult transition for all of us.  We are told that he is in his last hours, but we all know Marc's strength and determination -- he will leave us when he is ready and not a minute sooner.  He continues to amaze us.

We are doing as well as we can.  The kids stayed home today and we were comforted by the presence of  family, friends, and wonderful hospice workers.  We have our stressed, exhausted, and frightened moments; however, we also enjoy sweet moments together as family.  We remember, visit, share our hearts.....and, yes.....laugh.  God is good and He is present here with us. 

We are all tired and I need to be present for Marc and the kids.  This site will be silent from now until Marc goes home to be with his Heavenly Father.  We would be grateful for your continued prayers as we face this hard task.  I don't think any of us is prepared for what is to come.

With love and gratitude.....

Battle Weary

I don't have much to report and I want to keep it brief tonight.  Marc is holding his own.   He seems to be tolerating the TPN pretty well; however, we have faced a host of other issues since we have been home.  His breathing is becoming more difficult and he has a hard time catching his breath.  He is more awake and alert during the day, but his strength is gone from his muscles.  He can no longer walk and has a difficult time making it to the wheelchair.  He is exhausted and winded if he moves too much.  He fell a couple of times trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night.  I'm so worried he is going to injure himself.  The gastric tube we have been battling for weeks is working much better, though.  I'm relieved that something is better! 

We would be grateful for your prayers.  All of us are battle weary.  Marc is tired of being sick and hates the monotony of being in bed 24/7.  He feels trapped.  The kids are doing their best to be good sports as all of their interests and needs take second place to Dad's.  They are very gracious about it, but it's hard to be patient all the time.  I am overwhelmed.....still.  There are so many needs and only one very human me.  Can't say I've been in total control of the emotions this week.  With being tired comes frustration and sadness...and sometimes hysterics....yikes.  The good news is that I did ask for help.  Hospice will be coming in to do more consistent care and respite care this week so that I can have a break.  I am looking forward to pulling myself together.

Thanks for the continued care and support. 

With love and gratitude....

Heading Home!

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.  I am happy to report that, so far, TPN has been a success.  He is metabolizing it well and is already feeling the benefits of the hydration and nutrition after just two infusions.  He is stable enough to go home today.  We are encouraged by what this means for his comfort and quality of life as we face the days ahead.

The issues surrounding his gastric tube appear to be a bit better.  The doctors determined that going in and trying to make any adjustments would prove too risky.  While the system is not perfect, we have been able to keep it working with more flushing and more frequent draining.  Not ideal, but it works. 

Thanks to everyone that has helped us this week.  Juggling the kids' schedules, hospital visits, and Marc's needs, has taken a lot of help.  We are grateful for everyone that continues to put their lives on hold to help us.  It's very humbling.  We are grateful, too, to everyone that made the trip up the hill to visit us.  It really brings us comfort and cheers us up to see familiar faces in this place.  Thank you!

With love and gratitude....

Still Waiting...

It's Monday and we are still up at OHSU.   Marc's potassium finally stabilized and he will be starting TPN tonight.  It has taken four days to get to this point.  Along with the frustration with the potassium, he has been battling a great deal of pain in his abdomen.  His gastric tube is not working efficiently and the pressure of fluid and gas in his stomach causes tremendous pain.  We are still trying to understand the cause and find a solution to these problems. 

We are hoping all goes smoothly overnight as the TPN is introduced.  Getting to the point that he can actually take the treatment has been quite a journey.  Now that we have gotten to this point, his body actually has to be able to tolerate it.  There is concern that his metabolism won't be able to cope.  We pray that he will handle the treatment well without any further complications.  If all goes well we will be home on Wednesday.  We shall see....

Thank you for the continued prayers and support. 

With love and gratitude....

Locusts, Lice, Flies?

I'm sure the title of this post sparked your curiosity.  I'll get to the punchline in a minute.  First, just to update everyone, Marc was finally admitted to the hospital today around noon.  Along with trying to start the nutritional therapy (TPN), they will be assessing his gastric tube and picc line.  Both are not working as well as they should and need some maintenance.   

They have done an x-ray to determine if his picc line is still in a good position to accommodate the TPN fluids.  Haven't heard the results yet.  He did have his labs done right away and those results had everyone in an uproar.  Apparently his potassium is at 1.4 -- terribly low and makes it impossible to give him the TPN without causing major heart problems.   Right now he is receiving a potassium i.v. and will have his levels tested again in the morning.  Hopefully then he will be able to start taking the TPN.

Now, for the humorous....sort of.  Yesterday I was frustrated with the number of urgent matters that were consuming my attention and energy -- Marc's impending move to the hospital and all the arrangements and paperwork necessary to make that happen, Julia's rash, and Sophia's burns.  Seemed like one calamity after another plaguing my life.  All of them issues that demanded my involvement -- I couldn't put any of it off and it was (is) overwhelming.  I remarked yesterday to a couple of friends that the next thing to happen would be swarms of locusts descending on our home.  That was me being sarcastic and dramatic.  Ha.  Well, imagine my amusement this morning as the kids and I were eating breakfast and a couple of hornets went buzzing by.  Hmm.  No need to be alarmed, right?  Just get the fly swatter, yell a lot, and smoosh them into oblivion.  Problem solved.  Not exactly.  Julia headed upstairs to get dressed and said there was another one in the stairwell.  I killed that one and then asked her to go check the playroom.  Several years ago we had a nest in our eaves and they would sneak in around the siding and come in through the vents or light fixtures in our bonus room over the garage.  Marc had killed that nest and sealed the hole, but something about the whole scenario triggered an intuition that the same thing might be happening.

It wasn't a minute later and Julia was yelling down the stairs, "Mom, you have to see this!"  As I stepped into the playroom I was met with that all too familiar buzzing.  Bees, hundreds of them, clustered around the lights, hovering in the air, ping-ponging off the windows.  "Where are they coming from?" I shrieked.  The boys spotted their entrance right away.  The nest was in the wall and they had chewed a hole through the sheetrock.  THEY CHEWED A HOLE IN THE WALL!  I hurried the kids downstairs and slammed the door.  Next call was to the exterminator -- one more thing on my crazy list of urgent matters.  Life had become one sick, ironic joke in a matter of minutes.  I felt that hysterical anger rising again.  Why this?   Why now?  Isn't one of the complicated things on my plate enough?  Why more?

I put in my call to the exterminator and headed to town to drop the kids at school.  I then had a nice long, quiet drive home to fume over the state of affairs in my life.  I started thinking about the comment I had made yesterday about the locust.  I wondered why God brought that image to mind in the first place.  I started thinking about dumb old Pharoh and his stubbornness.  His heart was hard and he refused to acknowledge God's power.  As a result of his pride and obstinance he and his people suffered greatly at the hand of God.    Funny how I always think about that story and how it relates to the human being -- Pharoh.  I focus on his cruelty, stubbornness, manipulation, pride, his need for power, and ultimately his destruction.  I then compare my life to Pharoh's and am always relieved.  Well, at least I am not like him.  How could he not see God's power?  If plagues were raining down on me I wouldn't have been that stupid to dismiss God and not listen.  Idiot.  Then it struck me.  Foolish me.  The story isn't about Pharoh.  It's about God, his power, and sovereignty.   Each one of the plagues was miraculous in its own way.  They were all natural phenomenon that could not be ignored or denied.   The story is not just about God's people escaping tyranny and oppression, but in seeing God's wondrous power...right in front of their faces. 

I think I have lost sight of Him in the last few days.  I have been so consumed with the plagues in my life that I have not seen God right in front of my eyes.  No, I don't think God is punishing me with skin lesions and plagues of bugs; however, I think he used the situation to remind me that He is there...all the time.  Very powerful.  Able to perform miracles.  Able to remind me of his goodness.  His protection.   His presence....even if it means sending a swarm of bees to give me a much needed firm (and obvious) reminder.  I don't look back on today and think that God has forsaken me and heaped more on my plate than I can handle.  I look back on today and  know that my focus is back on my Lord, not on my circumstances.   Right where it should always be.

Thanks for the love and support this week.  We covet your prayers.
With love and gratitude....  

Another Change of Plan

Marc decided last week that he wanted to go back on nutritional therapy (TPN) to gain some weight and strength back. His weight has dropped to under 120 pounds and he has been really weak. His tumor has been quiet for a few weeks now and hasn't been causing him any pain. He went off all of his pain meds last week and has had no pain (nasty withdrawal symptoms, but no pain). He figures if he isn't going to be in pain he might as well have the energy to enjoy family and friends. So, after talking to hospice he has decided to give TPN a try again.

In the next day or so he will be going off of hospice to be admitted back into the care of his doctors at OHSU. He will spend the better part of this week at the hospital while they monitor his reaction to the therapy. The plan is that he will be admitted tomorrow, but beds on the oncology floor are full so it may not happen until Friday.  We are on standby.  I should know by tomorrow morning if we are to report to the hospital or not.
After he is released from the hospital, he will be put back on hospice and will return home. In the meantime, there are a ton of prayer requests. First, that this would be a success for Marc. Often times introducing this treatment at this stage can have devastating effects (congestive heart failure, liver failure, etc.). We are hoping this buys him a couple of weeks. He is determined not to pass away in September. He doesn't want to die in a month when there are family birthdays. This is his goal.

Please pray for the kids. This is the first week of school and it will make the week and weekend hectic for everyone. Ironically, this is exactly how the last week of school ended....Dad in the hospital. Not a fun time. Lastly, please pray for me. I am way, way, way overwhelmed. I feel like Gumby being stretched a million different pivotal directions. I am struggling with being there for Marc and with being there for the kids as they start back to school. I'm as tired as I have ever been. The weariness in combination with being pulled in different directions has me really anxious. I long for sleep, a manageable schedule, and peace in my heart. All are elusive right now.

Last, please pray for my girls.  Julia has been battling a nasty case of molluscum -- a viral skin condition -- for several months.  It has really flared up in the last couple of days and is causing her a great deal of discomfort.  It itches and hurts, making it difficult for her to function during the day and sleep at night.  She is miserable.  I do have an appointment with a specialist at OHSU, but it's next Thursday.  Please pray that she will be able to muddle through until then.  Also, please pray for Sophia.  She decided to see if I was really telling the truth by warning her not to touch the hot stove top.  I left the room after boiling water for tea and she couldn't resist touching the red hot element.  She burned her fingertips quite badly.  Argh.  Not a pretty sight.

Despite how crazy and overwhelming life seems right now, I am grateful and still feel blessed.  I want to say thanks to my parents for helping with Marc and Sophia this week so that I could run the kids to and from school.  A big thanks to Amy for helping me with Julia's skin rash.  She was able to direct me to the specialist that deals with this crud (and share in my frustration).  Many thanks to Glenn, Burton, Ed, and Dad, for cutting, splitting, and delivering, a big cord of wood today.  That was work the kids and I were dreading!  When we are snug and warm this winter we will remember those four sweet guys fondly!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Lastly, thank you everyone that keeps encouraging us with emails, texts, and phone calls.  It warms my heart the number of times folks stop what they are doing to tell us how much they care. 

With love and gratitude..

It Takes a Village to Throw a Party

Wednesday was Julia's birthday and we spent the day enjoying simple pleasures with family.  It was a great day and she really had fun.  However, in her mind, her true celebration was yesterday.  She has been planning her birthday party for weeks.  She wanted to have a sleepover with her girlfriends.  Not just any sleepover -- a camping sleepover in the tent, with a campfire, smore's, the whole works. 

I love making birthdays special so I spent time thinking through the details.  The "whole works" was going to take a lot of just that. Work!  With Marc declining as quickly as he has been I was just praying we would be able to pull off the Wednesday birthday.  Friday remained tentative until the last couple of days.  Well, prayers were answered.  Marc was stable enough for me to be distracted with the party, the weather was dry, and all the guests could attend. 

So, with the major hurdles overcome, it came down to the work.  There was no way I could have pulled off this party for Julia without the help of a lot of family and friends.  As it worked out, it was perfect!  Julia had so much fun and will always have great memories of her 8th birthday. 

My deepest thanks go out to:

•  Melanie for doing all the food and craft shopping, helping during the party, and cleaning up my kitchen!
• My folks for taking Sophia for the night and to Jess for taking the boys. 
•  A HUGE thank you to my brother-in-law, Tim, for spending the night inside with Marc so that I could have the pleasure of freezing to death in the tent outside with six little girls on sugar overload. 
• Cara, for being my partner in crime and freezing with me, hanging out with the kids all night, helping me clean up this morning, and being an overall amazing good sport. 
• Kasie, for helping the kids with the games, organizing the craft, and helping clean up.  She, too, was an amazing good sport.
• John for bringing out more sugar....Joe's donuts. Mmmmm!
• John and Dave for visiting with Marc and keeping him company.  It means a lot to him.
• Karen, Erika, and Jennifer, for providing extra hands during the evening.
• And of course, the kids:  Allison, Benjamin, Julia B., Noelle, Sarah, Savannah, and Wilson, for the gifts, giggles, and memories made on a very special 8th birthday.  Thank you!

An aggressive game of balloon stomp!

Allison slightly disoriented during pin-the-tail on the donkey....

The whole crew, including our good sports -- Cara and Kasie -- getting set to do bag races....

And they're off! 

My camp cake.   Stayed up waaaaaay too late on Thursday

 putting this thing together.  Glad I did....Julia was delighted. 

Can you hear the ear piercing squeals of laughter now? 

More giggles...

Cara wisely waiting by the campfire for the girl chatter to stop before she hits the sack. 

Did I mention she was a really good sport?!?

Thank you, again, everyone.  The night was a great success!

With love and gratitude....

Our Fair Lady Turns 8

A Happy Birthday to our sweet Julia!

She is growing up to be quite a lovely young lady.  We are so proud of her!

We give thanks for our children -- we are abundantly blessed!

Starting out our special day with German Pancakes and lots of phone calls!

A mid-day snack of cake batter.  Mmmmm....more carbs!  Yummy :)

Sweet birthday girl with Grandpa

Grandma, Auntie Ofelia, and Julia

I can only imagine what this girl's wishes are.....

Looking poised and lovely while waiting to open gifts....

Taking her time reading the cards....

Antsy onlookers....

Uncle Pawgy is so funny...

Already trying some moves on her much anticipated gift. 

Our girly girl isn't always so refined....

She is my child after all :)

(This picture is for cousin Chris....she is so excited to master the skateboard!)

Happy Birthday, Sweetpea!

Dad and Mom love you!

Please, Lord...No!

I received a call this afternoon from Pastor Alan.  He shared some very difficult news with us.  Apparently our dear friend, Maxine, was taken to the hospital this morning with excruciating pain.  She was diagnosed later today with advanced liver cancer.  Her prognosis is not good and time appears short. 

My heart sank as I heard Alan talking.  My mind was racing and I just couldn't think of words to say.  All I could think is that this dear friend has been struck by an all too familiar enemy.  "Please, Lord," I prayed.  "Please, Lord....No!"  My heart broke on so many levels.  I then had the heartbreak of sharing the news with Marc.

Mel and Max are not just dear friends to us.  They were our mentors while Marc and I were dating and engaged.  We met weekly to discuss marriage, relational pitfalls, and hear wise advice from a couple that had been married a long time, loved each other, and still liked each other.  They shared their struggles, lessons they had learned, and encouragement....lots of encouragement. 

When it came time to plan our wedding we asked Mel and Max to stand up for us in our wedding. "Sure!" they exclaimed.  "What date do you have in mind?"  We thought that July 12th would work out well.  They agreed and started to laugh.  Come to find out we had picked their 40th wedding anniversary for our wedding day!  Seemed like the perfect date to us.  They joined us at the altar that morning and later in the afternoon we watched as they renewed their vows.  These are amazing people.

These two have seen us through our wedding, buying a home, the births of our children, and a myriad of life issues.  We have enjoyed dinners together, late night card games, and vacationing together.  And every step of the way they were there with their kind words of wisdom and encouragement.  I don't think we would have had the beautiful marriage we have enjoyed without the direction of this amazing couple.

When Marc was diagnosed last year, Maxine started having some health problems of her own.  We haven't been able to visit back and forth and help each other much; however, we knew they were praying for us as hard as we were praying for them.  While Marc was doing chemo, Maxine was enduring back surgeries and issues with her heart.  Recently, though, we understood that she was gaining strength and her smile back again.  We were delighted to hear that even just yesterday she was at church and seemed to be doing much better.  We were thankful for that news.

But, today we have received different news.  This is the news that feels like a punch in the gut.  It's the kind of news that doesn't make sense and seems to overwhelm us with grief.  We sit tonight and pray for Maxine.  We pray that her pain subsides and that her body could heal.  We pray for Mel.   I know what its like to hear the prognosis and to watch my spouse in pain.  It is a terribly helpless feeling.  We pray that he finds peace and comfort -- the kind that surpasses all understanding.  It's there.  I hope he finds it easily.  We pray for their four children, their spouses, and their grandchildren.  Bring them together, Lord.  Give them that time together.  Please join us in praying for this couple and their family.  We love them dearly.

Also, please pray for Alan.  Our pastor has been working hard to help all of us this week.  Pray strength and wisdom for him.  This is not an easy calling.  We are grateful for his help and care during this time.

With love and gratitude....

Man Stuff

I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me.

Phillipians 4:13



I have had this ongoing to-do list on my white board that I have ignored for most of the summer.  Listed on it are things that need to be done that are outside of my job description.  Marc and I have very defined roles in our home.  There are things I take care of.  There are things he takes care of.   For instance, I mow the lawn, unclog the hair balls in the drains, and cook.  He cleans up after I cook, handles most things mechanical (that I break), and everything that involves vermin.  As summer has progressed my job list started including many of Marc's usual responsibilities.  I wrote them on the board and then ignored them, hoping that somehow they would just go away. 

Well, here we are in September.  Summer is over and my list is still sitting there.  Over the weekend I took a deep breath and decided to tackle some of the jobs I had been avoiding.  First, the generator needs an oil change.  Hmmm.  Decided to pull the manual for that one.  After scouring the manual for better part of a morning (too proud to call the 800 number on the back to just ask for directions)  I found the type of oil I needed...or should I say oils.  Who knew it took two different kinds depending on the temperature outside?  Huh.  Since we use it in the winter I decided on the oil for cold weather.   That may be wrong, but it sounded logical to me.  I'm sure some helpful blog commenter will help me out.  Anyhow, got the oil home and it is still sitting on the counter.  I haven't had another half a day to consult the manual to figure out how one actually changes the oil.  Today I'm just enjoying the fact that I purchased oil and intend to use it.  Don't want to get too carried away.

Next on the list was the persistent wasp nest that has grown to the size of a soccer ball.  Bought another two cans of Raid for that bad boy.  Also bought a bottle of hornet killer for the nest that is in the ground.  I continue to procrastinate on the wasp nest.   I feel I should save some of the fun for my brother.  That has been a bonding project for the two of us.  I don't want rob him of any adrenaline rushes.  I did, however, decide to tackle the hornets nest in the trees.  The boys had pointed it out to me a couple of weeks ago.  I took a general note of where it was located and decided to wait until a cold night to do it.  Last night I tromped out in the dark with my flashlight.  I thought I had a good idea of where it was, but I guess not.  I spent a great deal of time examining the ground for their front door.  I knew I had found it when my flashlight disturbed their slumber.  The ground started to sound like a helicopter on take off.  I quickly dispensed the entire can of spray down the hole and ran for my life.  This morning the bees were happily flying in and out of the hole.  Are you kidding me?  I'm going to fall back on my father's secret method tonight:  gasoline.  Ah....to light the match or not?  I'm voting not.  Nothing good can come of that.

Last on the list for this weekend was crawling under the house to put down fresh mouse poison.  This has been by far the worst of all the chores on the list.  First, it involves crawling where rodents are and have been.  Gross.  Second, it's really dark and dirty down there.  Last, there are spiders down there that would rival Shelob.  I hate spiders.  A lot.  So, I geared up in my sweats, tucked the pant legs into my socks, and put on an old hoodie with the hood cinched down to allow enough room to see and breathe.  I was quite the fashion plate.  I then headed down the stairs into the abyss.  Julia felt my pain and stood guard over the entrance, asking constantly if I was okay.  I had thought about tying a lifeline to my leg, but I thought perhaps that would be overkill...or worse.. a little too dramatic.  After an excruciating five minutes I had placed all the new trays of poison, collected the old, and said the 23rd Psalm about five times.  I then emerged triumphant and gave thanks that I didn't have to go into the bowels of the house for another six months. 

So, that was my weekend.  I gained a whole new appreciation for my husband and all those years that he has taken on the gross and dirty jobs around here.  I was encouraged, though.  I procrastinated on all these things and they weren't all that horrible.  I guess I can do all things through Christ.  Who knew?!?

My weekend summed up in a picture.  Gives me the chills just looking at it!

With love and gratitude....