This has been a touch and go week at our house. Marc was in the hospital last week starting a nutritional therapy that will hopefully help him regain his strength and weight. He was having a hard time getting the calories he needed everyday. He now receives the bulk of his nutrition through his blood stream via his port.
He came home Monday feeling much better. Unfortunately, over the last couple of days he has had more issues. He found that he could not eat any foods without everything coming back up. Basically his last real meal was last Friday. He is no longer able to eat anything due to the tumor that has caused a blockage in his intestine.
Today we met with his doctor and he was re-admitted to the hospital. He is tentatively scheduled to have surgery tomorrow. They will be putting a vent from his stomach to the outside of his abdomen so that he is able to release the pressure that accumulates due to the blockage. This is a comfort measure, not a surgery to remove any cancer.
If he can regain some weight and if he can tolerate it, he will be starting a doozy of a chemo treatment next week. Basically they are going to combine the first and second chemo regimens from last year and try to push back as hard as they can. This will likely be the hardest treatment he will ever take. The hope is that we can get the tumor to shrink back and stabilize.
We have struggled a lot with the "why" questions this week. Hope becomes harder the more bleak the outlook. We fight losing hope and faith on a daily basis. For Marc...he is miserable and feels like he hasn't gotten a break during this whole fight. Nothing has yet to go the right way. He is disappointed, frustrated, and tired. For me....there is nothing I can do to make him feel better. I watch him fade away by the day and am powerless to ease his pain. For the kids...they are scared now. They have seen how sick he has been and how sad he is. This has been a very hard week for all of us.
But, we continue to pray. We continue to hope for a miracle. The doctors would tell us the odds are not in our favor....but we don't rely on odds....we rely on God. As hard as it is. As confusing and overwhelming as it is. His ways are not our ways. We don't know what the purpose to all of this might be, but we choose again to trust Him.
I know many of you are concerned and want to help. We are grateful for that. The phone calls, emails, and texts, have been rolling in. I am responding as I have time and energy. I may not be able to respond to all of them. I will try to post here and update as I am able.
Thank you for your prayers and support....
With love and gratitude...
