The Gift of Helps

I have a very fickle lawn mower. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I can always count on it not working at the beginning of the mowing season. I'm almost convinced that for a piece of machinery, it is highly intelligent and vindictive. We would get rid of it, but I'm frugal and stubborn. Pure madness, I know!

Typically the first day of mowing looks something like this: I run around getting my clothes changed, find the hiding lawn mower key, locate a pair of ear plugs that doesn't look too used, shove on my old shoes and head for the garden shed. Then one of the kids needs a drink or a band aid and I get diverted back to the house for ten more minutes. While I'm in the house, the phone rings and I answer it. After the phone conversation ends the dryer timer goes off. Being obsessed with efficiency, I fold the clothes and load it up again. Oh yeah, the lawn. The shoes go back on and I make a break for the shed, open the door and stare down the Mean-Green-Sometimes-Running-Machine. It looks harmless enough, but I know that something will go wrong. I sit down gingerly, adjust all knobs and levers and turn the key. This is usually where it gets interesting. If I'm lucky and it starts I will roll out of the shed only to discover that a tire is flat and I've run it off the wheel, requiring a trip to Les Schwab to have it remounted. Usually, though, I never get that far. Sometimes it's simply out of gas. Of course, there is no gas in the gas can, meaning a trip to the gas station. Other times, the battery is dead. If we are lucky it just needs a charge. If I'm really desperate to mow, I'll need an entirely new battery -- that would be a trip to the auto parts store. Last year it was a lot more dramatic. Mice had decided that the cooling system was a dandy place to set up home. As the lawn mower heated up the engine would begin to sputter and then die. To make it more exciting for me, there were the actual scorched mice dropping out of the engine casing and running around by my feet on the mower deck. Needless to say I approach the maiden mowing voyage every spring as I would a major battle.

So, I panicked a bit when Marc's brother, Tim, called and said he wanted to help us out by mowing this weekend. While I was excited to have help, I was feeling really guilty. I tried to help him to understand exactly what he was getting into. He wasn't swayed. I continued with my disclaimers, feeling horribly anxious over the idea of anyone having to be subject to our creepy lawn mower. He insisted, and I submitted.

By all accounts I shouldn't have been worried. Marc and Dave had worked on the mower the weekend before. The lawn mower blades were sharpened and not bent. The engine had been cleaned and serviced. No mice to be seen. A shining new battery was installed during the week. Tim even brought his own tank of gas -- not necessary, but a nice touch. I actually thought the the first mowing might actually come off without a hitch. After a quick lesson on all knobs and levers, Tim was off like a pro. I was impressed and a bit envious. That didn't last for long, though. Before he had gone one lap around the yard he had a flat tire, and yup....it ran off the rim. The guys quickly jacked it up and whipped off the wheel. Being the sweet brother that he is, Tim decided he wanted to take it to Schwab (more guilt pangs). He returned about two hours later with the fixed tire and an education on local Estacada culture. After a quick remount, he was off and finished the job like a champ.

Accepting help has been the hardest part of our trial. Marc's cancer is no picnic, but humbling ourselves to accept help has been brutal. Our pride has certainly taken a hit. We have always loved serving -- it's fun and we always find tremendous blessing in helping others. Turn the tables around and it isn't so much fun. Add to that the complications of helping us -- quirky lawnmowers, multiple kids and their schedules, large livestock, etc. -- and we become the difficult people to help. We realize that helping us takes an extra amount of effort, patience, and time. This makes the experience all the more humbling. It also makes us so much more grateful. The fact that so many of you have chosen to help us, despite the complications and frustrations, has touched us tremendously. We realize we are in a marathon and we have to accept help as it is offered or we will burn out. We just look forward to the day we can be of help to all of you!

And, Tim, thank you for insisting on helping us. Your willingness to sacrifice your time and energy to mow for us is really appreciated. You are my hero for suffering the maiden mower voyage of 2009. Your patience with the whole situation was admirable and encouraging. Thank you for sharing our burden and tolerating our fickle lawnmower. I'm glad it's not just me! You certainly earned your stripes this weekend. You were a great sport! Thank you!

On another note, I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and concern for Marc and me over the weekend. His last treatment was really tough physically and emotionally. He rebounded really fast, though. I apologize for not updating you all sooner on his progress, but the sun actually came out this weekend and being Oregonians found it impossible to be inside. We soaked up as much sunlight as we could! I'm happy to report that his pain is minimal, his energy is back, and he is feeling pretty good. We are encouraged by all of this and look forward to having a week of feeling "normal."

Here are some fun shots of our weekend....We had fun :) It was great to be distracted and enjoy the sunny outdoors....

The Gift of Knowledge

This is Elo and Roger (and yes, that is a guy with an accordion in the background....but that's a story for a different day). We met Elo and Roger through our church Growth Group years ago. We have considered them dear friends ever since. Though life and circumstances change, we have always managed to come back together for Bible study. They have been gracious enough to host our group for several years and this year volunteered to be our leaders.

Elo and Roger have been an incredible blessing to us over the years. In recent weeks we have appreciated their insights as doctors. Both have been able to help us better understand Marc's cancer. They have asked helpful questions and shed light on many of the issues surrounding his treatment. Their willingness to share their knowledge has helped alleviate a lot of confusion and uncertainty.

Their knowledge isn't limited to the medical field. They also know full well what it means to have friends with cancer. I remember a couple of years ago seeing Elo crying during worship at church. She told me that her best friend, Armida, had been diagnosed with metastatic cancer in her bone. The prognosis wasn't good. She was a wife and mom of two. The whole situation hit me hard. Not only could I identify as a mom with Armida, but the fact that she was such a dear person to Elo made it incredibly personal. To this day I have never met Armida, but I think her often and feel a tremendous connection to her. We prayed diligently for her in her weeks of treatment. We prayed for a miracle; for a great mercy. After just a few weeks of treatment, Armida's cancer was no longer visible on her scans. To this day she is cancer free. There is never a day that I don't think of God's great mercy on us by healing Armida. Now, more than ever, I think of her battle against cancer as a great source of hope. Elo reminds me constantly that there are no absolutes in this fight and that there is always hope. There are miracles....She should know. She helped me see one.

Elo and Roger have been a huge source of comfort to Marc and me. They were gracious enough to host a large group of family and friends at their home to pray for Marc. I was overwhelmed that so many would show up on a Saturday afternoon to simply pray over us. This was a beautiful and humbling experience -- one I am not likely ever to forget. I can't thank these two enough for suggesting the idea and sacrificing their Saturday to host us.

Roger and Elo, thank you for being committed friends. Thank you for the wisdom and knowledge you share and the grace with which you share it. Your knowledge and experience have helped us so much in the past few weeks. Thank you for making us ask the hard questions and encouraging us with messages of hope and love. I appreciate all the time you have sacrificed for us -- visiting us in the hospital, watching the kids, opening your home to all of us. We are blessed to call you friends.

With love and gratitude...

The Gift of Diligence

This is Dave and Karen. If it hadn't been for Dave I would not have met Marc. Dave was my Sunday school teacher all those years ago when I met Marc. It was through his group that we met each other and many of the friends that have been so supportive during this time.

Dave is probably one of the most diligent people I have ever met. He is conscientious and hard working at everything he does. And I'm not just talking about work....I'm talking about his relationships -- those with God, his family, and his friends. He takes his relationships very seriously and works incredibly hard at making them work. He studies, he thinks, and he puts in tremendous time and energy into serving.

When he married Karen several years ago, he found someone just as diligent and committed as himself. Marc and I have been so delighted to see how Dave and Karen have blessed each other and how well they work together as a couple. We have benefited immensely from their marriage and their friendship.

At any time we have experienced hard times, Dave and Karen are there. Dave has been present at the hospital and the chemo clinic, distracting both Marc and me. As we have had physical needs, he has been delighted to help -- my lawn mower is running again! Dave is also great at just hanging out, arguing politics, discussing theology, and asking questions. We have learned a lot from his knowledge and experience.

In the same way Karen is consistently present, helping with meals, encouraging me with truth, watching my kids. She is sensitive and compassionate, always considering others before herself. She also has some helpful life experiences that help her identify with what we are going through right now. I have found it sobering and yet encouraging to know that our struggles aren't all that unique -- many of our friends and loved ones have stories of sorrow and hope to share. We aren't alone.

Thank you, Dave and Karen, for diligently pursuing our friendship. We are grateful for all the effort and energy you put into helping us and being present in our hour of need!

With love and gratitude...

The Gift of Family

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven...
Ecclesiastes 3:1

This is my Grandma Irene at her 90th birthday party last September. I like this picture because it's pretty typical of how you could find her on any given day -- laughing and usually with a grandchild in her arms. Grandma is an energetic, determined woman. She is full of life and faith. She is passionate about her family and has been a powerhouse of a matriarch. She has prayed for her family diligently over the years, watching as we have grown up, married, and had children of our own. I am fairly certain that this woman has prayed for me every single day of my life.

She and Marc share an uncommon bond these days. A few weeks before Marc was diagnosed with his cancer, Grandma was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They have somewhat similar cancers, share the same doctors, and the same family. Needless to say, Grandma knows exactly what Marc is going through.

While Marc is feeling better -- his pain is gone to the point that he doesn't take pain meds, his nausea is gone, and he is resuming his normal activities -- Grandma has grown worse. Her pain has escalated, she has contracted pneumonia, and the cancer has now spread to her liver. From a human standpoint, it appears that her fight is nearing its end and she will be going home soon. And, she is okay with that.

I marveled last night at how, once again, our family has come together to support each other. We stood around her hospital bed, held hands and prayed for her and for each other. We have been blessed with a loving and faithful family. It seems like life has heaped up a lot of sadness and uncertainty on our family in recent weeks. Part of me wonders how much more grief we can all take, but then I remember how much of a blessing these experiences have been. God has a purpose for this season in our life. We may not see it now, but there are good reasons for our suffering. I have started to see them already: Compassion, mended relationships, love, and refined faith, have all grown out of so much pain and uncertainty.

My family continues to struggle with grief over both Marc's and Grandma's illnesses. The physical and emotional demands are tremendous on everyone at this time. I find courage and strength, though, in our family and our shared faith. Thank you to all of our family members that have supported us and been such huge help during this time. Thank you for the prayers and the love. A family that loves each other and serves each other is a beautiful thing to watch.

Please join us in praying that...

• Grandma's doctors and nurses can keep her pain under control
• Her pneumonia would resolve itself and that she can return home to rest
• Her family would find comfort and peace during this time
• Her caretakers would not become exhausted and overwhelmed with her care
• Wisdom for the family to know how to direct and manage her care after the hospital
• Marc would continue to enjoy being pain free, hungry, and energetic
• That Marc's chemotherapy is effective and that his cancer is cured

Thank you for your continued prayers and support during this increasingly difficult time. With love and gratitude....

The Gift of Loyalty

This is Melanie and her wonderful husband, Steve. Mel has been my dear friend for over 25 years! Our lives have often taken different paths, but we have always managed to stay in touch. In recent years our childhood friendship has matured and expanded to include our kids and our husbands. Steve' s friendship has been a tremendous blessing to Marc over the years. We couldn't be more grateful to have this couple and their kids in our lives. These are not just friends...they are family.

Mel and Steve have the uncommon gift of loyalty. Steve is the guy that will always show up to help and does it with zero fanfare. He is a good and upright man that takes great care of his family and friends. In the same way, I can always count on Mel. She is the person I can call at midnight in an emergency. I called her two years ago when we had our house fire and she was there in record time to help house the kids. When Marc had to go to the hospital last week she came out and watched the kids for the night. The next day she stayed on with the kids and fielded the phone calls that were pouring in from family and friends. She is the first to volunteer to help and stays until the storm passes. Her willingness to help makes the impossible situation seem tolerable.

Thank you, Mel and Steve, for your many years of friendship. A lot of life has happened in that time, and it is so comforting to know that in the good times and bad that you are there. Thank you for your willingness to help with meals, logistics, and our kids. Most of all, thank you for your encouragement and love. You have both been a comfort to me and to Marc during this time. Your commitment to each other, to your family, and to your friends, is a rare and beautiful quality in the world today.

With love and gratitude....

The Gift of Spontaneity

This is Jessica. I have had the pleasure of knowing Jess for about eight years. Jess is a wife and super-mom of four really neat kids. When she isn't on the go doing stuff for her kids and friends, she works as a nurse. She is also a devoted aunt to her niece, Kamelah, who is in the midst of winning her battle against leukemia. This is a busy woman that knows on a very personal level our fears and challenges.

Jess was one of the first to offer help in the midst of our crisis. Despite having four kids of her own, she has willingly taken on our four at any time we need her...and makes it look easy. Jess keeps me sane during the week by making me coffee and giving me a place that I can vent, fall apart, and hear some words from someone that understands. She has a brilliant wit, a heart of gold, and a spontaneous spirit.

It was the spontaneous spirit that put her on my porch at 8:30 this morning. Surprise! She brought her espresso machine, a dozen doughnuts, her kids, and....a rack of barbecue ribs for Marc from McGraw's (ribs are the only food that has consistently sounded good to him during his treatment). We had a lovely breakfast party -- the kids played and we had a great time visiting. What a treat! Thank you, my friend!

Jess has the amazing gift of spontaneity. She is able to drop anything at any time to help a friend in need. She is also great fun -- her ability to prioritize and not sweat the small stuff allows her to embrace the fun opportunities. She is an inspiration to me. I tend to be more rigid and she has helped me recognize the costs and pitfalls of too much structure. She gets me out of my Rainman mentality! She is a dear friend and a wonderful example to me.

Thank you, Jess, for all you have done and continue to do for me, for Marc, and for the kids. Your friendship has kept me grounded during the uncertain times. I am so grateful to you. Thank you for going to all the work to get your family here this morning just to surprise us and make us laugh. You gave us cause to forget our troubles and face the day with a smile.

With love and gratitude....