Legacy

I have had several phone calls today asking if I could post my thoughts from the service yesterday on Marc's legacy.  I am happy to do that.  Thank you all that took the time to come and see us yeseterday.  My children and I, along with our extended family, were blessed by your presence.  Thank you!

I may post a few more things from the service over the coming days, but my intention is to bring this blogsite to a close soon; however, I will let you all know when I make my last posting.  Keep checking in with us.  We love hearing from you all!

Legacy....

I want to take a few minutes today to talk about something more than love and memories. In a little bit we will all leave this room and go out to resume our lives. What, beyond a few memories, will we take with us? I want today to be more than a nice service in memory of my husband. Marc’s life and Marc’s death has had a profound impact – he has left a rich legacy. Now the question remains….What will you do in light of what you have seen in my husband? Will you simply be amused? Have a respectful admiration? Or will you run the race that Christ has chosen for you with as much heart, passion, and integrity as Marc?


We are not here today to celebrate a perfect man or his perfect life. As his wife I had the front row seat to all his imperfections. But as his wife I also had a front row seat to his character. And what I saw was good. It wasn’t just good…it was phenomenal. He was the real deal – it wasn’t an act. Marc was an unobtrusive, quiet man. He never had to be the center of attention. Content at all times to be anonymous. He wasn’t educated beyond high school. His job, while he loved it, wasn’t glamorous. He never talked about his accomplishments and kept to himself. So what is there to notice? In a world that values accomplishment, power, fame, and education, it doesn’t seem like he left much worth remembering. Why on earth would one simple man passing away bring hundreds of people to his memorial service?

I don’t know the reason each of you came today. Some of you are grieving his death and are struggling to make sense of your personal loss. Others of you didn’t know Marc well, but love our children and our family enough to support us today. We are all here, though, trying to make sense of something that doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem right. How can a vibrant man of 44 – a seemingly good man….a good husband…a good father…just pass away? What does it mean? It doesn’t make sense.

For the children and for myself, there is a gigantic hole in our lives. We have suffered a profound loss. Yet as painful as his absence is for us, we understand there is purpose in how Marc lived his life and how he passed away. His life was one big message and I hope none of us miss it. Marc’s life may very well be a wake up call for many of us. The issue is, will we wake up? Or will it be a call we simply didn’t answer?

I think Marc’s legacy can be summed up in about three things. Change, choices, and priorities.

Marc discovered early on his ability to change. Many things about Marc’s life growing up and as a young adult weren’t ideal. He found Christ early, but his faith wasn’t fed or nurtured. He wandered for a time, making worldly decisions that he found didn’t bring him happiness. He realized a need for change, a break from the path that he was on. He had the courage and humility to admit that how he was living his life wasn’t beneficial to anyone. So, he changed. He didn’t do it on his own, though. He was wise enough to seek out help. He started looking to those that had their act together – men of faith and strong character -- and sought their counsel. There was no shame in asking for that help. This attitude of humility and willingness to change served him well. Marc never acted as if he had all the answers. He was always willing to learn, to mature….to grow up. Everything in Marc’s life benefited from this attitude of teachability – his career, our marriage, his children.

Marc’s life could also be summed up in choices. He learned the gift of discernment and chose well. He chose Christ when the world would say its folly. He chose marriage when the culture says its okay to leave when it gets hard, inconvenient, or boring. He chose his children and their interests when pursuing his own ambitions and goals would have brought him more accolades. He chose to work hard and work honestly when it would have been easier to be dishonest and lazy. He chose to invest in personal relationships in a culture that doesn’t value or have time for loyal friendships. Marc never chose the easy way out.

Last, were Marc’s priorities. Marc’s priority was never himself. I don’t recall him ever being selfish or proud, always putting others needs and wants before his own. He was always humble enough to say he was sorry. He was gracious enough to not let most things bother him. Most of all, he knew how to forgive. He knew how to forgive the big offenses and the small ones. I know. I was on the receiving end of his forgiveness quite often. It’s a humbling and beautiful place to be. Marc kept his word. He followed through. He could be counted upon.

Change. Choices. Priorities. Marc summed it up best in words that he wrote to our children in a letter he left for them before he passed away:

“Do not forget the compassion and affection you have for others. Show it daily. Never withhold from expressing your love to those around you. Hold your children daily. Never be afraid to show your soft side. It is a gift from God.


Serve God first. Serve your spouse. Then serve others. You are last. This life is not about you. It's about who you are for others. In this you will mirror God's love for His people.


Remember that you are not of this world, but God has put you in it and has given you instructions to follow. Tell the truth always. And, in everything that you do, love, love, love.”
Marc lived these words. They weren’t just things he told his children to do because they sounded nice in a love note. He lived them and let me tell you, his life was a gift. My life married to this man was a gift. Even knowing how it would end up, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. My children had an amazing father and I hope his words and their memories of him guide them. But, I also hope that his life made a difference to you, too. Perhaps his life points us all in a better direction.

I know some of the hurts in this room today. I know the challenges many of you are facing. It’s hard stuff. I would just ask you to listen to the wisdom of a man that finished his race and finished it well. Marc would tell you, if you have a relationship that needs mending. Mend it. If you are in a marriage that is suffering. Tend it. It is so worth it! If you are the priority in your own life, consider reshuffling those priorities and reconsidering what life is really about. Think about changing. Think about your choices. Consider your priorities.

Perhaps my words fall on ears that don’t hear or don’t want to listen. On the other hand, perhaps Marc’s life will make a difference in one person. In one marriage. In one relationship. In one person’s faith. Adam, Ben, Julia, Sophia, and I, mourn the loss of our daddy and husband. But, we are convinced that God can use our loss for good. If one life is changed for the better because of Marc’s life and his passing, then perhaps it is not all loss. Perhaps in the bigger picture, we all win.

Updated Information

A trust account has been established for Adam, Benjamin, Julia and Sophia.  You may go to any Bank of America branch and ask for the "Marc A. Griffith Heirs Revocable Memorial Trust."  For the next ninety days they will be able to take contributions at any branch.  If you are visiting a branch outside of Oregon, you will need the account number.  That number is:  485005708058. 

For tax purposes an EIN has been established for this trust.  Should you need this number, please contact me and I will provide that for you. 

Many thanks from all of you that have requested this.  We are touched by your generosity. 

For memorial service information, please see the previous post.

With love and gratitude...

Memorial Service

Marc Andrew Griffith

May 17, 1966 -  September 30, 2010

 Memorial Service

October 24, 2010

at

3:00 p.m.

Good Shepherd Community Church

28986 SE Haley RD

Boring, OR 97009

(503) 663-5050

 

Many have asked where contributions

 and remembrances should be sent.

We are in the process of establishing trust accounts
 for Adam, Benjamin, Julia and Sophia.

You may check here for updates and information or contact us directly.

 

With love and gratitude....

Faithful Servant

His lord said to him,"Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler of many things.  Enter in to joy of your lord."

Matthew 25:21

Marc Andrew Griffith

May 17, 1966 - September 30, 2010

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Finally there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge will give me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who who have loved His appearing.

2 Timothy 4: 6-8

Sweet Moments

The last two days have been the most difficult.  Around 4:00 yesterday Marc became unresponsive.  We had a few sweet moments just before that with our pastor, Alan.  We finished praying and exchanged a few brief words.  Since then he has been silent, struggling to take his next breath, and anxious.  This has been a difficult transition for all of us.  We are told that he is in his last hours, but we all know Marc's strength and determination -- he will leave us when he is ready and not a minute sooner.  He continues to amaze us.

We are doing as well as we can.  The kids stayed home today and we were comforted by the presence of  family, friends, and wonderful hospice workers.  We have our stressed, exhausted, and frightened moments; however, we also enjoy sweet moments together as family.  We remember, visit, share our hearts.....and, yes.....laugh.  God is good and He is present here with us. 

We are all tired and I need to be present for Marc and the kids.  This site will be silent from now until Marc goes home to be with his Heavenly Father.  We would be grateful for your continued prayers as we face this hard task.  I don't think any of us is prepared for what is to come.

With love and gratitude.....

Battle Weary

I don't have much to report and I want to keep it brief tonight.  Marc is holding his own.   He seems to be tolerating the TPN pretty well; however, we have faced a host of other issues since we have been home.  His breathing is becoming more difficult and he has a hard time catching his breath.  He is more awake and alert during the day, but his strength is gone from his muscles.  He can no longer walk and has a difficult time making it to the wheelchair.  He is exhausted and winded if he moves too much.  He fell a couple of times trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night.  I'm so worried he is going to injure himself.  The gastric tube we have been battling for weeks is working much better, though.  I'm relieved that something is better! 

We would be grateful for your prayers.  All of us are battle weary.  Marc is tired of being sick and hates the monotony of being in bed 24/7.  He feels trapped.  The kids are doing their best to be good sports as all of their interests and needs take second place to Dad's.  They are very gracious about it, but it's hard to be patient all the time.  I am overwhelmed.....still.  There are so many needs and only one very human me.  Can't say I've been in total control of the emotions this week.  With being tired comes frustration and sadness...and sometimes hysterics....yikes.  The good news is that I did ask for help.  Hospice will be coming in to do more consistent care and respite care this week so that I can have a break.  I am looking forward to pulling myself together.

Thanks for the continued care and support. 

With love and gratitude....

Heading Home!

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.  I am happy to report that, so far, TPN has been a success.  He is metabolizing it well and is already feeling the benefits of the hydration and nutrition after just two infusions.  He is stable enough to go home today.  We are encouraged by what this means for his comfort and quality of life as we face the days ahead.

The issues surrounding his gastric tube appear to be a bit better.  The doctors determined that going in and trying to make any adjustments would prove too risky.  While the system is not perfect, we have been able to keep it working with more flushing and more frequent draining.  Not ideal, but it works. 

Thanks to everyone that has helped us this week.  Juggling the kids' schedules, hospital visits, and Marc's needs, has taken a lot of help.  We are grateful for everyone that continues to put their lives on hold to help us.  It's very humbling.  We are grateful, too, to everyone that made the trip up the hill to visit us.  It really brings us comfort and cheers us up to see familiar faces in this place.  Thank you!

With love and gratitude....