Creeping...

Well, Marc's tumor marker continues to creep downward. It's not plummeting as it did in the first two treatments, but I guess that is to be expected. It's still moving in the right direction and was at 87 on Tuesday when he had his blood drawn. We just pray that it continues to move in a downward trend. We are thankful for more good news today!

As I mentioned in the past two posts, Marc's next CT scan is this coming Tuesday. This is weighing heavily on my mind. We are praying so hard that we will see with our own eyes the change in the tumor. As a wife, I am desperate to see that he is beating this thing. I would personally covet your prayers in the next few days regarding this test and for his healing. While we have been encouraged at each of his exams, both of us want to see the scan and have visual proof. I am hopeful, but fighting anxiety.

Waiting...

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.


Lamentations 3: 25-26


Marc started treatment #6 today. We are half way there! His blood counts remain good and his side effects are not serious enough to back off his current regimen. Next week he goes for his first CT scan since diagnosis. We will find out exactly how much the tumor has regressed. I am anxiously praying for that day. We are hoping for dramatic results. We could really use some good news right now.

This treatment cycle appears to be a difficult one from the get-go. He hadn't been in the chair for an hour when the typical side effects kicked in. Please pray for Marc that he is able to tolerate this round without lasting effects. Surviving cancer is a daunting task -- both physically and emotionally. I would like my hubby intact in both respects when this is all over!

Thank you all for your kind notes and words of encouragement over the past few weeks. We are finding this cancer lifestyle to be difficult and emotional. It occurred to me while we were in the waiting room today that that is all we can do right now: Wait. It's hard to wait. In our immediate gratification culture I am not programmed to be patient and to wait for much of anything. So, the fact that we were forced to wait a month during the diagnostic phase was tough. We waited each and every painful day to find out exactly what Marc had. After the diagnosis, we started treatment. Now we wait anxiously to find out if the treatment is working and how well. If we should be so blessed that he goes into remission, we will wait and see if it relapses. A new lifestyle....a life of waiting.

I get really agitated when I think about this new aspect of our lives. We have no choice, but to wait. We can't rush this along. There is nothing I can do to fix this, no amount of anxiety and worrying makes it better, and we can't hurry along the process. I am forced to wait. Today I realized I do have a choice, though. I can choose to be anxious and agitated, my impatience wearing me down and taking me to dark places. Or, I can trust in the Lord. As I think about it, there is nowhere in the Bible that tells us to be impatient with, or to rush, God. Very little good has come out of that tactic historically. Quite the contrary. We are asked to be still, wait quietly, and trust in Him. Perhaps the blessing will come in the waiting. Seems hard to imagine, but He hasn't let me down yet. Sigh. One more hard lesson to learn.

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support. We remain ever grateful and humbled by the blessings of our many relationships.

With love and gratitude...

Numbers, numbers...

Just a quick update on a couple of things. First, Marc's tumor marker moved down another 31 points with the last treatment. We are encouraged that things are still moving in the right direction and we are making progress. His next CT scan is June 2nd. Please pray that we will have a miraculous report from that test! I am anxious for that day.

Second, this treatment round (#5) seems to be treating him a bit better. He is tired, but is not suffering from the nausea like he did the last two times. This is a huge answer to prayer.

Lastly, and on a completely different subject, our legal matters regarding the house fire have been resolved. The contractor settled out of court with our insurance company. We don't have to go to trial! Sigh. A huge relief to say the very least.

Many thanks for your continued prayers and support. While we are encouraged by the direction of Marc's treatment, we are certainly not out of the woods. In many ways I feel like we are in the initial miles of a marathon and I have hit "the wall." The waiting and uncertainty are daunting at times. I would appreciate your prayers. I'm finding this to be a long and uncertain road and in these past few days my shoes have felt really heavy.

With love and gratitude....

Restored Souls!

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His names sake
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the
presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cups runs over.
surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Psalm 23



We're back! This weekend was all about retreating from the four walls of our house and getting away. We needed it! On Thursday we packed up the kids and joined our friends, Dave and Karen, and their kids, for a long weekend in Central Oregon. We had an amazing time and came back refreshed and encouraged. It was great to see a change of scenery and a lot of sunshine! We were up early every morning and packed in a lot of activity, lots of eating, and managed to sneak in some rest, too.

Marc did great and felt -- in his words -- totally normal. There were a couple of days when we really didn't even remember his cancer. An amazing gift of mercy from God. This was a weekend about just enjoying family and friends. It was a treat!

Tomorrow we face treatment #5. Please pray with me for Marc. These treatments are truly brutal and facing them every two weeks is an act of courage. It gets harder and harder every round to volunteer to sit in the chair and take medication that makes him sick. Just the thought of going to the clinic or the sound of his chemo pump are enough to give him nausea. This is becoming a mental battle -- one neither of us anticipated.

Also, please continue to pray that the treatments keep knocking this stuff down as powerfully as it has appeared to be doing in the past four treatments. This is the one consolation when it comes to all the nasty side effects -- at least it's working!

Lastly, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you that prayed for all the prayer requests last week. My grandmother is still with us, but it is day to day. Please continue to pray that we can grieve and continue to encourage each other as family. This is a hard time. Also, my brother left for his second portion of training in Georgia this weekend. He will be home in a couple of months on leave before he is deployed to Iraq. Please pray for his safety and health while he is gone. Lastly, we had the first of our legal proceedings the past week regarding the house fire two years ago. It went well on our end and we did not have to be present at the hearings today (allowing us one more sweet and restful day on vacation :) Thank you for praying so faithfully for us --God's hand in all of this is so obvious to us.

So...sorry to be gone from this place for so long. I hope to be back here a bit more this week. In the meantime, here are some fun pics from the trip. We had a wonderful time! A special thank you to Rocky and Patti for letting us use their house. It was great!

Hubby looking rugged...just hanging out...

The kids at Ft. Rock. A gorgeous view!

The Cowboy Dinner Tree. A fine dining establishment. To get there go to the middle of nowhere and turn left. Then keep driving....


Playing pioneers...

Brotherly love :)

Big man on a little bike. Don't ask.

What would Sunriver be without bike riding?

A Bit More Good News...

We are encouraged again today! First, Marc's treatment cycle seems to be a bit better this go around. We have been diligent about keeping up on anti-nausea medication and an additional medication to help with the irritation of his small intestine. While he is in no way feeling great, he isn't feeling as horrible as he was two weeks ago. He's really tired, but hanging in there.

Second, he asked today to see his test results from Tuesday. This tumor marker shows his progress from his third treatment. His marker was down to 131! Down another 77 points. We are so excited!

Thanks again for your prayers!

Some Good News to Share...

We have good news to share today. Two weeks ago, after Marc's second treatment, they did a blood test to measure his tumor marker. They do this at every appointment. The day of his first treatment Marc's tumor marker was at 240 (after rising the week prior from 140). After one treatment the marker only increased to 288. The doctor thought that was good news (it was showing signs of reacting and slowing), but that we should continue to expect the marker to rise or, at best, plateau after the second treatment. Well, today we found out that his tumor marker was at 208! It dropped 80 points in one treatment! It didn't go up, didn't plateau...it dropped by a large measure. We are very excited by this news!

The doctor also noted that his abdomen continues to soften and the tumor area that he can feel is shrinking. So, we won't be getting a PT scan for another month. The doctor didn't think it is necessary because he can tell from the tumor marker and his physical exam that the cancer is responding. The plan now is to finish up the next four months of treatment and pray for complete remission. We were encouraged today by an elderly gentleman in the treatment center. He had finished the same regimen Marc is on a month ago. He is doing fine and was in for a routine appointment. And...he still had his hair (a bonus). It was a huge encouragement to meet someone that had been through this very treatment and was thriving.

Thank you for your prayers and concern. We are excited to share good news when we get it. There is nothing better than celebrating answered prayers with friends and loved ones. God continues to be good and merciful!

With love and gratitude...

Uncle!

"Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!"

Satan's conversation with God, regarding Job
Job 1: 9-11

I'm feeling a bit Job-esque this week. My hedge seems to have been compromised and I'm being lambasted left and right by sorrows and frustration. I feel like the kid on the playground having my arm twisted by the bully. "Uncle! I cry uncle!" Just when I don't think I can take much more, then a new load of misery follows.

Cancer is no walk in the park. These past few weeks have had us on our knees. We have seen God at work in Marc's illness, though, and we know his cancer serves a greater purpose. We believe that and cling to it. It doesn't make it less difficult. As each treatment and test approaches we are anxious. It's hard being at the start of a story like this without knowing how it will end. We just have to wait. But, while we have been waiting more tests of our character have taken place. Our lives have become like one of those info-mercials... Wait! There is more!

We could really use your prayer in the coming weeks. Here are some of the highlights...

1. Marc's next round of chemo is tomorrow. Please pray that:

• The cancer will continue to respond

• He doesn't suffer the nausea and vomiting like the last go round


• The pain is minimal


• His fatigue is minimal


• We can schedule the next PT scan and that the results of the scan are encouraging
  

2. My grandmother is losing her life to cancer. Please pray that:

• Her pain can be controlled


• My parents and great aunt can continue to have the emotional and physical strength to care for her 24/7


• That we all have peace about her passing
  

3. My brother is returning home on leave from his training in the army. Please pray that:

• We are able to enjoy this week with family -- amidst chemo and serving Grandma
  
• We have peace about his deployment to Iraq


• He has safety while he is deployed

4. We found out this week that we have legal meetings regarding our house fire (drama 2007) in the next three weeks. (Our insurance company is trying to recoup the damages from the contractor that did the work. We have to testify). Please pray that:

• We have no scheduling conflicts with Marc's chemo


• That everyone will be truthful and that those making judgements are fair and honest.
  
• That they can settle out of court.

Add to all these concerns the usual dose of daily challenges, and we wonder how we are able to function on a daily basis. Oddly enough, we seem to still be hanging in there. We find ourselves not panicking too much about the various trials in our lives. We have realized that there isn't much we can control or fix. We can only do our part. I will say this, though. Marc and I have been complimented for how "strong" we have been during this crisis. I want to clarify something....we aren't strong. Any strength, any grace, any courage, that we have is a direct gift from God. We ran out of strength a long time ago. We have heard many times from well meaning folks that God never gives us more than we can handle. I don't know that that is altogether true. I believe this is the verse that most people refer to:

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

I think God is allowing us to be tested right now, knowing that there is no way that I or Marc can handle these burdens on our own. He's given us more than enough to cope, though. He gave us Himself. I can bear it because he is bearing it for me. His shoulders are broad and His hands caring! I can go to bed at night and rest, and then have the courage to get out of bed in the morning...simply because I'm not doing it alone.

I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:12-13

So, if you are seeing us as some sort of beacons of strength....Don't! You are seeing God at work when we appear strong. For when we are weak, His strength abounds. So, that brings us back to poor Job. I'm liking that guy more and more. Despite all he went through, he never did curse God. Amazing. I want to be like him. It would be tempting to blame God for all that has transpired in the past few weeks, but I know that would be wrong and totally mis-directed. He is letting me learn from this and it does hurt; however, he hasn't forsaken us and we know that somehow, in some way, God will see us through.

Lastly, we know many of you are struggling with your own trials and frustrations right now. You may have more than you can bear, but I pray that you find courage and strength from God. He is faithful. He can be trusted. He is more than able....

Thank you for your prayers and for meeting me here. We are grateful to all of you.

With love and gratitude...